The (Messy) Art of Surrender: Acknowledging Your Truth When Things Aren't Working

Sometimes, the truth, no matter how true, still hurts.

Sometimes, the pain, no matter how much you’ve cried, still stings.

Sometimes, the reality, no matter how much you face it, doesn’t look any better.

Sometimes, the healing, no matter how much you’ve done, continues to hurt.

Sometimes the heart, no matter how much it’s been broken, continues to break.

And sometimes, that’s okay.

Sometimes its okay to just admit that life is hard. That in spite all the trying, all the hard work, all the facing your shadows, all the prayers and elbow grease and effort you’ve put into making changes, life is not what you thought it would be. The fairytale you created hasn’t manifested. You are not where you wanted to be and it hurts. Sometimes, its okay to just be there. To just accept that life is hard right now.

During this eclipse season where everything is changing, during a new moon and solar eclipse that everyone says is about new beginnings, the tendency (at least for me) has been to try harder, to push more, to will my new beginnings to take root. But that’s not how planting works. You can plant a seed, water it, give it nutrients, but you can’t force it to grow. Its not up to you. Its up to the Earth, the universe to allow it to grow, on its own timeline. It requires faith. It requires believing that you have done everything you can do, and that your efforts will be rewarded. So if you, like me, are struggling with things not moving, mountains you can’t climb fast enough, or valleys that seem so deep and dark they’re more like canyons with no visible way out, rest in this. Its okay to be where you are. It’s okay to not know the way out. It doesn’t mean there isn’t one. It just means that you have to let go. You have to trust. You have to give your entire being over to a higher power, a peace that will hold you in the valley, protect you in the fire, and hold your hand when you do get to the top of the mountain.

I’ll end with this. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel it. All of it. It’s okay to just be right now. That seed will grow when it is the right time. And in the meantime, the inner growth is happening, whether or not you see it now.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.” Isaiah 43:2 

"And we know that all things work together for" Romans 8:28

Sending you all love.

-S